Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
