JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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