He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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