you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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