Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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