if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
