Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
