True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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