4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
