exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
