If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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