I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
