I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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