What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
