Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
