I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
