Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize