Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
