this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
