There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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