perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
