well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
