Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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