my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There r osticjed everywhere
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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