i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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