Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
