She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
