How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
