So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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