i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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