Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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