I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I understand Curling. That high.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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