69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
