I feel great
I just peed on a car
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
