I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
