my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
