note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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