Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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