i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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