Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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