discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
