You surviving the open bar?
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There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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