david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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