In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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