I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
