Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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