your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
