I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
