im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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