he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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