careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
