That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
