I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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