I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She even gives head with a lisp.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
