Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
