Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We were destined to go to rehab together
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
