Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
